Matt left in the dark yesterday morning, and spent the night in Mvolo, South Sudan with the group he flew up there, and I’m wondering how he’s making out now - a day later - while making breakfast (and second breakfast!) for the little people and making sure the South Sudanese pilot who we have staying in our guesthouse is also taken care of.
'All these small things add up to something bigger than me. I might not be on the front lines... but I’m here, I’m ready and I’m willing'
Sometimes, it is hard to be left behind. The idea of the adventure, and the people, and the getting out there and doing makes my feet itch on the ground here in Kampala. At points this year I’ve struggled to be content with the way things have worked out, there have been some big disappointments - almost 2 seizure free years for Charlee coming to an abrupt end, having one of the sweetest little girls from our special needs support group pass away, and some other silly small things that, some days, can still weigh heavy on my heart.
But even as I’ve been writing this, the pilot from our guesthouse has arrived back from visiting his 2 year old son’s grave, and I see, not for the first time, that things could be much, much worse.
The grass is pretty green right here. We’re happy, we’re healthy, we have a nice, little house. It doesn’t have a view, but I like what I see just fine :) I see Matt off to work every morning, mostly before daylight. Some weeks he flies over 100 passengers to different places, helping them to reach people who need medical evacuations, trauma counselling, and infrastructure development. He comes back tired, dirty and happy.
I drive the kids (mine and others) to school and am waiting to hear about their days when they get home. I cheer at swim competitions and school performances. I play trucks with Theo, chit chat with strangers on the road, and welcome neighbourhood boys into our yard to play and have a good snack.
Over the last year, we’ve welcomed more than 50 visitors to MAF Uganda into our home, hosted what feels like hundreds of meals (and enjoyed every one of them!), helped out with getting a few treats and essentials from here to Juba, and made lots of new friends. The special needs programme at Lugogo Baptist church has grown into something so much bigger, with kids getting the help and therapies they need and their mamas getting supported in their struggles.
All these small things add up to something bigger than me. I might not be on the front lines but I try to help hold things together. I’m here, I’m ready and I’m willing if and when my time comes, but until then, I’m happy to have snuggles at 4:22am and first breakfast a 5. There are people here - in my house and in my life - that need me, I don’t need to go any further. The small things are enough.
'There are people here - in my house and in my life - that need me, I don’t need to go any further.'